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Friday, July 6, 2012

Things I remember and faces I don't...



Semalam aku berbual dengan seorang teman lama yang sudah lama tidak ku temui................................

Pehh, ayat diari apehal.

Semalam, lepas lama tak bukak Yahoo chat, member tempat keje lama tegur aku, nak gitau something. Rupa2nya dia dah nak blah dari kampeni lama tu. Pastu burak2, terceritalah kisah2 lama masa aku keje kat sana. 

And then suddenly I realised that it has been four years already since I left the place. Aku still rasa macam baru lagi aku kerja kat sana. Baru lagi aku pi interview sambil bawak buku Soalnya Hati (ye, bila ko kata ko novelis, usually interviewer nak tengok buku ko. So setiap kali aku gi interview, aku bawak buku aku. I don't anymore, since aku dah tak gi interview keje lagi). Aku rasa baru sangat lagi aku nangis dalam toilet sebab penat. Baru lagi aku berlari2 pakai kasut tumit tinggi dari press conference Hotel Istana, naik LRT, turun LRT, lari ke komuter, naik dan turun komuter, lari lagi sampai Mid Valley untuk pegi press preview. Aku rasa macam baru kelmarin aku jumpa Farid Kamil sambil piker dalam hati, "Muka kau lagi. Tak kisahlah kalau ko hensem pon, boring tau tak?"

Pastu burak2 lagi dengan member nak blah ni, aku sedar something. Semua orang yang aku sebut namanya dan yang dah blah dari situ, mostly aku dah tak ingat mukanya. Aku ingat semuanya - semua kisah kat sana. Wahi yang tujukan dan mainkan lagu "Toyol" sekuat2 hati dalam opis sebab aku kata aku benci lagu tu. Penny yang sentiasa makan Kinder Bueno setiap pagi. Zim yang express everything only with his thumb and saying "Cool". Maria and her cool t-shirts, with her ringtone yang main lagu Sesame's Street. Zee's mobile phone yang berbunyi "Correct correct correct" (or at least I think that was what it said). Roy yang ada zombie-apocalypse stock of Toblerone. Bailah and Arfah yang very Kpop-Jpop expert. Kak Mai yang keep on screaming "Chin Vin!!!" bila nak bercakap dengan bos. Swee Wei yang sentiasa panic tak tau nak buat apa but ended up always doing the most genius thing. Lunch maggi dengan Kak Ani.

But then aku realise that I remember every single thing about these people - how Mei Fong once drew a barcode behind Vinsen's head to resemble Agent 47 from the movie "Hitman". How Marcel loves to order Big Mac with coke - no ice. How you only see Firdaus, Verat and Juliana on first floor during their meeting day during those days when the company rent two office spaces - but somehow these faces are lost from your head. I remember their voices, the way they talk and even how to spell their name, but somehow (unless they are those people who I still talk to outside the office now, like Adam, Swee Wei or Maria) their faces have become a blur. I remember siapa yang ada tattoo, siapa yang pakai the coolest sneakers, siapa yang drive a Persona, siapa yang tinggal di Palm Spring, but I can't really remember how they look like.

I really am good with the littlest details - my friends can attest to that. People are surprised to know that  I can remember what they say 20 years ago. But I am really bad at remembering faces. If you ask me to write ten things a person from my past said, I can give you twenty. But if you put five pictures and ask me to tell you which one that person is, I may show you the wrong picture (it gets worse since aku jarang baca newsfeed and tak bukak FB page org lain unless they're in my starred list).

That is why as a writer, I seldom write how a person looks like. I seldom characterise their features, how big their eyes are, do they have a small button nose or a long witch-like, do they have dimples. But I am good at developing their attitude. I can write a character who swears a lot, or like to rub his/her head when angry, or talks fast when they're panic, or always have a chewing gum in their back pocket. Because that's how I remember a person. By their words and their traits. Never by their face. 

So you may be handsome, with the dreamy quality of Matthew Macfadyen and the sharp gaze of Rupert Penry Jones... but if you spit while you talk and say the dumbest thing ever, that is all I will remember you by.

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